


invincible

by nishiki



Category: Misfits (TV 2009)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Future Simon Bellamy Doesn't Exist, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexuality, Blood and Injury, Family Issues, Friends to Lovers, Head Injury, Heavy Angst, Homelessness, Hurt Nathan Young, Hurt/Comfort, Immortality, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Injury, Injury Recovery, M/M, Major Character Injury, Nathan Young Has Feelings, Nathan Young Needs A Hug, Nathan Young is bad with feelings, Nathan gets badly injured and the gang bands together, Nathan is his own warning, Past Rape/Non-con, Prostitution, Protective Kelly Bailey, Protective Simon Bellamy, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, also Simon steals Nathan's corpse, bisexual nathan young, bisexual simon bellamy, caring Alisha Daniels, caring Curtis Donovan, caring Kelly Bailey, caring Simon Bellamy, confused feeling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:09:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23575942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nishiki/pseuds/nishiki
Summary: Simon Bellamy noticed a while ago that his friend Nathan started behaving a little weirder than usual. When the gang returns to the community center after the weekend, they stumble straight into a horror movie.
Relationships: Alisha Daniels & Nathan Young, Curtis Donovan & Nathan Young, Kelly Bailey & Nathan Young, Kelly Bailey & Simon Bellamy, Simon Bellamy & Alisha Daniels, Simon Bellamy & Curtis Donovan, Simon Bellamy & Nathan Young, Simon Bellamy/Nathan Young
Comments: 50
Kudos: 297





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just started watching Misfits for the very first time last week and rushed through the first 2 seasons. I didn't watch past the first episode of S3 though. However, this idea just came to my head and made me put everything else aside for a few days. It was meant to be a onehsot but I realized quickly that I needed to make it into multiple chapters. The fic is finished and the chapters will be released at least once per week.

Nathan was behaving weirdly. Then again, Nathan Young always behaved as weird as a hyperactive autistic beagle trying to dry hump anything in sight. No, it would be more accurate to say that Nathan was behaving weirder than usual and in the case of Nathan fucking Young that statement had to account for something. At first, Simon wasn’t quite sure if he was interpreting too much into Nathan’s odder than usual behavior. He blamed it on Nathan being Nathan and on his insanity levels rising since he found out about his power.

Ever since he had realized what his powers were, he was even more stupidly reckless than before. 

Of course, it was almost impossible to really tell what was going on in that noggin of his. However, Simon Bellamy could only assume that waking up in a coffin buried six feet under dirt was bound to leave a mark even on a psyche such as that of Nathan Young. At the very least his behavior had started to get more and more outrageous since then as if trying to compensate for something - or to plainly distract himself from the horrors he had suffered. Trying to talk about the experience with Nathan was usually leading nowhere, though, as was expected. Nathan would just try to make fun of the situation and about the fact that someone was perhaps even worried for him. Meanwhile, Simon just wanted to understand what his friend might have felt the moment his iPod ran out of battery and left him in the pitch-black darkness of his satin-clad coffin.

Still, something was off about the other young man in the orange jumpsuit. Lately, he turned up to community work with bruises more often than seemed normal for someone like Nathan who was not much of a fighter and decidedly not someone who would get into physical altercations, to begin with. It was a puzzle that Simon didn't seem able to solve without talking to Nathan about it and talking to Nathan about anything serious was as pleasant as pulling teeth without anesthesia. Needless to say, it left Simon completely frustrated. 

"He probably just mouthed off to someone and got the appropriate answer." Curtis had replied when Simon had first told him about his concerns about Nathan a week ago shortly after that party where Jessica's dad had tried to kill him. 

"I mean haven’t we all wanted to beat him up before?" Kelly had chuckled in response and Alisha had just rolled her eyes and told him not to bother with Nathan. He was, after all, always getting into all kinds of trouble. 

After that talk with his friends while cleaning up another wall with graffiti, Simon had decided to shelf his concern for Nathan for the moment being as even Kelly hadn't seemed overly concerned about their resident troublemaker. And she was, after all, the official ‘Nathan-handler’ of their group. She had pretty much adopted Nathan by this point, making sure that he would eat at her place at least once a week and not just survive on food from the vending machine inside the Lakeview Community Center. She even washed his clothes for him every once in a while. If something was wrong with Nathan, she would know. 

However, as yet another day went by with Nathan running late as per usual despite him living in the community center and they went back to the locker room, Simon decided that maybe he shouldn’t brush off his concerns about Nathan too soon. For once, Nathan didn't make as much of a show out of stripping out of his overall. There were no lewd comments about his dick or anyone else's dicks for once, no Nathan slapping someone’s ass, not even a little striptease from the candy thief. In fact, Simon noticed that Nathan was actually dressed in a long-sleeved shirt underneath the orange overall. As Nathan registered the staring of his partners in crime he turned around with the biggest squirrel grin anyone could ever muster.

"And what are you staring at, perverts?" He teased and shimmied out of his jumpsuit before pushing his ass out a bit. "Getting a good look at the goods, yeah?"

"Why are you wearing a long-sleeved shirt? It's like a million fucking degrees!" Kelly was the first to voice what everyone was thinking - probably because she could tell that they were all thinking the same thing. 

"I was cold." 

"You, Nathan ‘my blood is lava’ Young?" Curtis snickered. 

"You know" Nathan walked over to the athlete and brushed just the tips of his fingers over his shoulder almost seductively. ‘Almost’ because it was Nathan. "if you wanted to see me naked you would just need to say the magic word, Curtsie and I’m all yours! I’m sure your big black cock is magnificent! Unless, of course, that would make someone in this room jealous. Any takers? No? Awesome."

As Nathan leaned up to peck Curtis on the cheek, the athlete was quick to push Nathan off and maybe a little more harshly than would have been necessary. By now, they were after all, well-used to Nathan’s weird antics. Nathan, however, lost his footing on the tiles of the changing room, slipped, fell backward, and landed hard on his back on the tiles, the wind being knocked out of him and his head hitting the ground with a sickening little sound.

At least he wasn’t dead, Simon thought as Nathan produced a low groan almost immediately. "Is this how you treat a lady, my Dude?" He whined but Kelly already had his back as he pushed Curtis aside and went over to check on Nathan.

"Fucking brilliant, Curtis!" She bristled. "That was uncalled for, Mate! Could’ve killed him!" 

"So what? He would’ve come back anyway!" Alisha replied sharply in a way to defend her boyfriend. "I mean, Christ! That guy has to be the most annoying person on the planet and just like a cockroach you can’t even kill him!"

"Oh, blimey, look who’s got her period!" Nathan joked and received a small kick to his foot from Alisha in response while Kelly helped him up. He flinched, however, when she tried steadying him and put a hand on his back. "Golly, I’m glad we all get along so well these days. It's just like we’re a family, you guys. You got me all wet! I think I’m gonna cum!" 

"Eww seriously, Mate!" Kelly shuddered and let go of him so that Nathan would need to climb to his feet on his own now without her help. "Why do you have to be so gross?"

"It's a talent." Nathan snickered. "And what are you looking at, Barry?" 

As Nathan turned his attention towards Simon who, like most times, didn't dare to get involved in the banter, he felt himself shrink under Nathan’s tantalizing gaze. It was true that Simon had become a little batter of inserting himself into the group but sometimes he still felt himself struggling. Nathan was so unashamedly himself, so full of energy, so cock-sure of himself, that it was hard not to feel small when someone like him stared at someone like Simon. Well, it didn't help that Nathan was a good ten centimeters taller than him. "Can't get enough of that gorgeous bum, ey? Pervert!"

"Leave Simon alone, Nathan!" Kelly, always his savior, jumped in to get Nathan off his ass.

"Who’s Simon?" Nathan’s immediate response surprised no one. Simon suppressed a smile at his antics. After the tattoo incident, it had become quite apparent that Nathan knew his name and was just teasing him anyway. They had never talked about those two weird days of Nathan being over the moon for him. Maybe it was better this way.

"Barry!" Alisha groaned as she got re-dressed in front of her locker. 

"What? Nah, mate, his name is Barry! I’d know it if it wasn't! I’m great with names! Ask Susan!"

"Who?" Curtis chimed up in confusion. Bless his soul. 

"The probation worker!"

"Her name was Sally and she’s dead." Kelly sighed.

"What? Then who’s that Mitchell dude?"

"Who?" Alisha finally turned away from the mirror in her locker for long enough to throw an annoyed look at Nathan.

"He’s talking about Shaun." Simon offered the group as an explanation - as if he was the mind reader of their gang of misfits.

"Who?" Nathan parroted. 

"The probation worker!" Curtis groaned.

"We killed the probation worker!" 

"Jesus Christ, Nathan!" 

"He’s just messing with you!" Kelly finally crowed to end the ridiculous back and forth and the large shit-eating grin that Nathan shot the group clearly gave credit to her assumption. 

"So anyway, gang, what are we up to this weekend?"

"I’m visiting my dad," Kelly replied right away.

"My grandparents are in town, so I’m off playing the nice, innocent girl for them." The way Alisha bet her eyelids only underlined that she was anything but a nice, innocent girl. Not too long ago, Simon would have probably fallen for that. 

"So just us boys, huh? The dudes! The bro-squad! Awesome! Oh, we are gonna score so much pussy!" 

"Nah, man" Curtis once more brushed Nathan off. "I’m actually meeting up with my old coach. I’m gonna hit the track, get back into things a little." 

"So just Barry and me then!"

"I promised my sister to take her shopping downtown and spend the weekend with her." Simon sighed. "She has a class trip coming up on Monday and our parents wanted us to spend a little time together." His relationship with his little sister had soured a bit after Simon had started working at the community center. Apparently, some of her school mates were making fun of her for being the sister of an arsonist. He wanted to make it better again, even though he had no idea how to. It wasn’t like he and his twelve-year-old sister would have much in common, to begin with. 

The way Nathan looked at the realization that none of them would follow him along on his antics, made him feel almost guilty. Despite all his bravado, it was clear that Nathan had no friend outside this group because no one was willing to put up with him for longer than ten minutes. Well, he was quite the handful, wasn’t he? He was like a three-year-old toddler on meth that wanted to poke sharp metal objects into electrical outlets all the time.

"Okay, just me then!" Nathan laughed, quickly playing down his initial hurt at the realization that no one wanted to spend any time with him. Clearly, they all had plans were they could still make room for Nathan for a bit but clearly no one wanted to. Even someone as self-centered as Nathan Young would be able to tell. "Even more pussy for me then! It's gonna be like Christmas!" 

There was a part of him that wanted to cancel his plans and spent some time with Nathan instead but he had promised it to his sister and they didn't spend nearly as much time together as they should anyway. Nathan would be fine, right? The rest of their group was quick to head out after they changed back into their normal clothes but when Simon left the community center that evening and looked back to Nathan assaulting the vending machine in the hallway again, he felt a small pang in his chest that he could only explain with the feeling of leaving your new puppy behind. Only that this puppy was hyperactive, hypersexual, and a fucking prick that would piss against its owner’s leg.

Before Nathan could see it, he turned himself invisible just by the doors through which the others had just left. He didn't even think about it, just did it. He wanted to see if Nathan was okay behind his usual bravado. He had seemed quieter today, more fidgety and flinchy lately. And now as he was hitting the vending machine for his dinner, he seemed much more brutal, much more aggressive as he was used to from their always playful troublemaker. 

As the vending machine refused to give him what he wanted, Nathan let out a loud yell and threw himself against the machine once more before staggering backward and holding the arm that had connected with the machine. Something about him was really off. Simon could tell immediately that, the moment they had seemingly all left the center, a switch had been flipped inside Nathan, like a mask falling and shattering on the ground just like this. It was almost scary how quickly and effortlessly the switch was flipped to reveal the real thing simmering underneath.

"Ow, crap!" Nathan groaned and pulled up his shirt just a little to glance down on what Simon could even from afar make out to be a big ugly bruise over his right side. What the hell? Just as quickly as Nathan had revealed the bruise he was hiding it again before kicking the vending machine one last time for good measure and then walked away to retreat to his nest on the mezzanine. 

To Simon, it was a miracle why no one had by now removed that soggy old mattress that Nathan made his bed so long ago. He watched how the other young man flopped down on it and pulled out his last cigarette, watching it for a moment before putting it back and instead rubbing his eyes. "What am I doing?" He could hear him whisper. Maybe that was even more surprising than his violent outburst from before. The quietness to his voice, the exhausted tinge to it. 

Nathan Young was a great many things but quiet or somber he was not. He just wasn't. The way he was lying on his mattress now, however, told Simon that he hadn't been wrong in worrying about his friend. The same friend who also acted as his personal part-time bully, the same friend who had so easily agreed to be his friend after Simon had first expressed this wish to him. And right now, just sitting here, it seemed so easy to see behind the mask that Nathan was wearing each and every day, the facade of the class clown, the crying Pierrot. 

Just like that, an idea popped into his head and he quickly but silently slipped out the doors of the community center, hurrying far enough away until he became visible again. He hit up the nearest McDonald's he could find, which wasn't all that hard in South East London anyway. Just a couple of hundred meters away from the Lakeside Center was the nearest of the restaurants and Simon made quick work of ordering a shit ton of food until he headed back. 

Nathan was thin as it was already but lately, he had become even thinner, he thought. Well, being homeless and too proud to ask for help did something to the body, he would assume. To Simon, it was an enigma why his friend wouldn't confess to his mother that he was living inside the community center like a house rat. He was sure that she would take him back in immediately. Every mother would, right? Then again, his mother hadn't even once checked on Nathan as far as Simon knew and Nathan didn't talk about her either - not after that whole craziness with her new boyfriend, at least. 

Simon knew that he was lucky that his parents were still together and his family intact - even though sometimes he wished his parents would just get if over with and get divorced instead of going to counseling sessions after counseling sessions while acting as if their children wouldn't notice. It couldn't be easy to come from a broken family and not for the first time Simon thought that Nathan’s humor and outrageousness were nothing but a coping mechanism or some way to distract himself from his real problems. 

When he reached the community center with the food, he quickly checked his reflection in one of the windows and patted his hair down before he opened the glass door again and walked inside. "Nathan?" He called out as if he wouldn't know where the other young man was. It didn't take long for Nathan’s curly head to peak up from his nest on the mezzanine.

"Barry!" He called out in amusement and Simon couldn't quite help the small upwards quirk of his lips at the nickname. Simon couldn't figure out for the life of him why Nathan still pretended to not know his name and insisted on teasing him. It was his way to be endearing, he supposed. Just like he thought it was endearing when he would pretend to have forgotten all kinds of other things. "Did you miss me already? Can’t really blame you, Darling. What's not to miss?"

And there it was again, slipped right back into place. His mask. Still, Simon smiled a little. Maybe someday he would be privy to the real Nathan Young even when he wasn’t invisible. He held out the two takeaway bags as a means of an answer. "I thought we could at least have dinner together if we can’t do anything on the weekend." 

"You bought me dinner?" Nathan grinned and wiggled his brows as Simon was already walking up the stairs to Nathan’s lair. By now he was sure that at least Shaun knew that Nathan was squatting here but chose not to bother about it even when Nathan stole the liquor from the community center’s bar. Despite the grin on Nathan’s face, he could tell that his friend was honestly surprised that Simon had come back to him like that. "Oh, Barry! Had I known your intentions, I would’ve shaved my legs!" 

"Shush." Simon huffed and sat down on the mattress beside Nathan instead of indulging his teasing. He remembered the last time that he had been here at night with Nathan. It hadn't ended so well for him but now things were different - mainly because Nathan wasn't under some crazed tattoo artist's spell that made him gay for Simon of all people. 

Nathan just grinned widely at him as Simon shushed him but sat down comfortably next to him before ripping the first bag open and digging into the food Simon brought him. "You know in some animal species it's a mating ritual when the guy brings food to the girl." Nathan teased again but Simon just laughed.

"That would make you the girl then." Simon teased back.

"Touché, Barry! Well played, good Sir!" 

"You made it easy."

"I am easy." 

"You are not gonna kiss me again, are you?"

"Only if you long for the taste of my sweet lips, Barry-boy." 

"I think I’m gonna pass."

"You hurt my feelings."

They slipped into a comfortable silence after that before Simon dared to speak up again between bites of his burger, knowing that he might regret his next words. "So … Why haven't you talked to your mum about how you live?" 

"Oh, hey! If you’d wanted to see my Mum more often why didn't you just ask? I’m sure she would like you! But I would warn you about her boyfriend, he might just wanna try fucking your leg."

"I’m serious, Nathan." Simon sighed. By now he felt like he knew how to talk to Nathan even when he tried to be funny with him. Nathan Young was the kind of guy who needed friends to rein him in a lot. That was, of course, mostly Kelly’s job but Simon thought that he could try it too. Show Nathan that he was serious and maybe even get seriousness in return.

"Aren’t you ever, you lil’ freak?" His taunts had lost their bite a long time ago. As Simon, however, didn't cave, Nathan let out a long-suffering sigh. "My Mum and I … we don't talk anymore."

"What?" Well, wasn’t that a surprise? Simon wasn’t even sure if Kelly was privy to this information.

"Yeah the whole dying and coming back to life thing, you see?" Nathan said before shoveling a few more fries into his mouth. "I mean I told you how she reacted when I came back that first time. Turns out she kinda blames me now for the new teeth she needed to get after kissing the radiator. As if it was my fault she fell into the radiator! Can you believe it! Still … after the drugs wore off and she could think clearly again, she said to me, and I quote ‘Nathan, that was the worst lie you ever told me and I cannot allow you to keep treating me the way you did. I can no longer deal with your constant lying about serious issues. I thought you were dead, your father thought you were dead. Lying about my boyfriend molesting you is one thing but lying about your own death and making everyone play along was too much. I want you out of my life’."

Despite the mimicking of his mother’s voice, despite his exaggerations, Simon could still tell how much his mother’s reaction had truly hurt Nathan. He tried acting all cool about it, but he couldn't fool Simon. Not because Simon had somehow earned some cosmic knowledge or was an expert on the subject of Nathan Young but simply because every normal human being on the planet would react this way and be hurt if their mother wouldn’t believe them something as serious as dying and coming back to life. At least under the current circumstances with all those superpowers and whatnot.

"So … yeah. So much for the unconditional love of a mother, right? Bullocks. I mean that my father doesn't give a crap about me I knew after the IKEA incident - and wouldn't you know it? He doesn't even remember leaving me there to eat Koettbullar with a known pedophile! Selective memory and shit. No, he probably thinks I lied about that too as I lie about everything, right?"

"Your mum … didn't believe you?" Simon uttered carefully.

"No." Nathan shrugged and faked another one of his dazzling smiles. "I’m the boy who cried wolf, I guess. I can't blame her, maybe I lied one too many times about one of her boyfriends abusing me." 

"I can see how she would think you’ve been lying about being dead." Simon sighed quietly as he watched Nathan bite into his next burger. However, the other man looked suddenly as if the food would make him ill. He chewed on the bite for the longest time before swallowing and then leaning his head back against the railing of the mezzanine in his back. As he looked at Simon next, he thought that he finally was allowed a glimpse at the real Nathan without being invisible.

"Yeah … The thing is … I never lied about her boyfriends." He shrugged as if it was nothing. "No that's not true. I lied about the first one. You see … when Dad left us, Mum was so angry all the time and she quickly turned her anger into a different direction. She probably thought ‘if that bastard can shag other women what's holding me back?’, right? I mean, all power to her, sexual empowerment and all that jazz, innit? Clearly, I got that from her! But suddenly she started going out and partying and I was a wee lad who didn't understand that. Our front door became like a revolving door for all kinds of dudes and more often than not I was greeted by the bare ass of some random guy in my Mum’s bed when I checked if she came home at all at night. The worst were the guys who stayed, though, those who wanted to play daddy while I was still trying to process the divorce and the fact that my dad wouldn't come back - that he didn't want me."

He wanted to say something insightful and nice but he just couldn't really think about anything. So, in the end, he opted for: "That sucks."

"You bet your cute little ass." Nathan huffed. "I mean it didn't help that kids at school started making fun of me because of my ‘slut of a mum’, right? However, when her first boyfriend moved in I was just confused and angry, so I made shit up about him that I heard at school. So, being a good Mum, she dumped his ass. Had I known what would follow, I would have much rather kept him around, though."

"Geez, Nathan…" Simon muttered quietly. There was much to unpack there but Nathan quickly put on his usual fake cheer again and punched his arm.

"I turned out awesome anyway! And hey, growing up in Ireland it was an insult if the local priest didn't try to diddle you! So, it's all good!" 

After that, Nathan dug into his food with gusto again and Simon knew that the moment for serious conversation was gone. He had learned more than he would’ve expected about Nathan anyway. Suddenly, he felt warmed to the Irish imp even more than before as he left Nathan after a while to go home. So, it turned out, that Nathan too had been bullied at school but unlike Simon, he had not retreated into his shell but used humor as a weapon instead. He was probably the kind of guy who made his bullies laugh so that they would leave him alone. He couldn't help but feel a bit proud for having been told these things by Nathan, certain that not even Kelly knew as much about the candy thief. 

Despite still not quite knowing what was going on with the bruises Nathan had started showing a little while ago, Simon went into his weekend a bit more at ease that night. Nathan was his friend and he had trusted him with more than he had trusted Kelly with. When Nathan would look at him, he would really look at him and not look through him like everyone else. When he was with Nathan, he didn't feel as invisible. 

And despite what he might have done while Nathan had been under the influence of that tattoo a little while ago, right now he could allow himself to relish in the feeling he truly had felt back then. The surprise and excitement that someone like Nathan Young could ever look at someone like him with adoration. In a way, he wished Nathan still had this tattoo.

**-End of Chapter 1-**


	2. Chapter 2

Spending the weekend with his sister had been quite exhausting. It should have been expected when dealing with a twelve-year-old girl, but Simon felt like he had just run a marathon without any training beforehand. Curtis and he were the first to arrive at the community center that Monday morning. They met at the street corner and walked together the rest of the way, chatting about their weekend as real friends would. To Simon, this was still all so very new and exciting. He had never had any real friends before, after all. Curtis made it easy to feel included, however. He was a nice dude, a stand-up guy who didn't really belong here anyway.

"Hey, Alisha told me you are into Parcours?" Curtis suddenly addressed him as they had almost reached the center to go back to their mind-numbing stupid work for the community. Despite how boring and stupid it was, so far, it was the best time of his life. He had made friends for the first time, he had a superpower, was part of a group, and no longer felt as invisible as he used to - which was quite ironic all things considered. 

"Yeah" Simon replied a bit more timid than he wanted to sound like. "I always thought it was cool. Filmed a few guys doing their thing a while ago, always wanted to try it out myself."

"You should definitely try it!" Curtis smiled. 

"I’m hardly very athletic."

"We can start with going running together if you’d want to, Mate! Get you into the groove! I’m up for it!" The smile on Curtis’ face slipped, however, when they reached the doors of the community center. "What the fuck?"

The doors were completely trashed. The glass shattered and all over the ground as if someone had taken a baseball bat to them. "Fuck" He found himself whispering before the two boys exchanged a glance and both came to the same conclusion: "Nathan!" Simon gasped and started running even before Curtis had time to get his legs under control. 

Both boys barged into the community center as one, hoping to find Nathan on his nest on the mezzanine but as soon as they got inside, they realized that this whole fucking place had been ripped apart. There was graffiti all over the walls of the entrance hall, doors had been broken down, Nathan’s dirty mattress lay on the ground in the hall wet with all kinds of questionable liquids and stains Simon didn't even want to try to explain. Broken bottles were littering the floor and every piece of furniture in sight had been completely wrecked. 

There was no hint of Nathan anywhere.

"Maybe he snuck out when whatever happened happened." Curtis offered hopefully. "He’s good at sneaking away and escaping danger, innit?"

"Yeah." But he didn't feel like Nathan had escaped the danger this time. There was this nagging worry in the back of his mind that wouldn’t leave him. "Maybe he got out and was afraid to come back because he thought he would be blamed for it."

"Possible." Curtis worried his bottom lip between his teeth as they stood there and took it all in. "We still should try to find him. Maybe he’s hiding somewhere in here." Just as the boys wanted to start looking, they heard footsteps crunching on the glass outside.

"Fucking shit!" Kelly announced her presence shortly followed by Alisha.

"What did the prick do this time?" She let out but Curtis’ look at her was serious enough to make her reconsider as it seemed. " Where is the prick?" She asked instead.

"Yeah, where’s Nathan?"

"We don't know." Curtis cut in. "We just arrived. We should call the cops, I guess but first, we should try to find Nathan." 

"We should figure out if it was him who trashed the place before we call the cops." Kelly huffed.

"You really think he would do shit like that?"

"I mean it's Nathan." Alisha sighed. "Okay, boys take the left corridor and the changing rooms, we take the right." 

No one wanted to even waste time with arguing at that moment so they split up into the two groups and headed out in search of their missing fifth member. Simon couldn't deny how much his heart was racing at the thought that Nathan had been here, maybe even asleep on his nest, when whoever came here started trashing the place. He could feel cold dread settle into the pit of his stomach at this thought. Nathan really wasn’t much of a fighter and if he hadn't managed to sneak away quick enough, he might have gotten into serious trouble, maybe even gotten hurt in the crossfire. He could tell, as he was eyeing Curtis from the side, that he was thinking the same thing right now and was just as worried as Simon was.

They kept yelling Nathan’s name as they headed down the corridor, hearing the girls echoing their calls. No matter where they looked, however, there was no sign of Nathan, just more destruction along the way. The locker room was the last they could check and if Nathan wouldn't be in there, chances were good that he had run away in time. 

"Nathan!" Curtis yelled again as they entered the locker room, that safe haven where their journey together had started months ago. 

The locker room was, in a weird way, a safe place for all of them. It was where they got to know each other on their first day, where they had become friends even. The door to the showers was open but there was no sound coming from inside, no water running, no reaction to them shouting Nathan’s name just silence settling over them so thick that it could be cut with a blunt knife. And then, as they walked closer, Simon saw a bloody footprint right outside the showers, leading away to the heavy steel door that led into the alley outside the center. Someone had been running away from the showers - someone who had left bloody footsteps in their wake. 

"Nathan?" Curtis asked as he pointed at the footprint.

"Nathan has smaller feet." There were no stupid jokes about how he knew that Nathan had smaller feet. Well, Curtis was not Nathan, after all. They exchanged another look and Simon could tell that Curtis dreaded walking into the showers as much as he did but it was Curtis, regardless of that fear, who stepped inside first only to let out a shocked gasp.

"Nathan!" He yelled even before Simon could follow after him. "Nathan, fuck!" 

As Simon finally found it in himself to walk inside, Curtis was already on the ground hovering next to the body of their friend. Nathan was completely naked as if he had been surprised while taking a shower but there was no water anywhere in sight. Blood was all over the moldy off-white tiles of the floor and the side of the room, clinging to one of the showers’ valves. His friend was lying face down on the tiles, blood in his curls making them appear almost completely black, blood on his pale skin, blood between his legs.

Simon couldn't move as he stared at Nathan who was not moving a single muscle as he lay there. He couldn't even tell if he was still breathing - not that this would matter much all things considered. "Is he dead?" He whispered into the room. 

"I don't-" Curtis seemed afraid to touch Nathan in any way but finally forced himself to put two fingers into the crook of his neck. "Yeah … he’s alive. Fuck … Fuck, Simon! We need an ambulance!" 

Maybe it was better if he would be dead, a voice in the back of his mind told him. This way his injuries would heal when he would come back to the world of the living. He was so badly injured that even Curtis started panicking at the sight. Everything after that was kind of a blur. The girls found them in the shower, Alisha let out a few colorful curses while Kelly just shrieked - lost in hysterics about her friend being injured and unconscious. Someone called an ambulance and the police at some point and Simon couldn't help but think that he should have been here to spend the weekend with his friend.

※※※※※※※ 

Besides them, there were only a handful of other people sitting in the waiting room of the emergency room waiting for news about Nathan. Simon realized that Nathan’s mother wasn't about to join them quite a while ago, after the first hour of them waiting had passed. By now, the police had already come to the hospital to talk to Simon. The girls and Curtis had stayed behind at the community center with Simon joining Nathan on the ambulance ride. They had told the police what they knew and how they found the place and after they had given their statements, the police had come to him at the hospital to ask him everything as well - as if he could give them any new information. He had told them how he had last seen Nathan on Friday and how he hadn't heard of him over the course of the weekend. He couldn't tell if they believed him but for once he didn't feel all too paranoid. He hadn't done anything, after all. Not this time. 

Now, the four of them were all here. Shaun had given them the day off in light of what had happened and since the community center was considered a crime scene anyway. 

"I bet we get to clean everything up tomorrow." Alisha cut through the silence after a while, nervously playing with one of her long necklaces. "The dirt, the graffiti, the broken glass … his blood. You think we need to clean off Nathan’s blood?"

"I doubt anyone else will do that," Curtis mumbled. He sat perfectly still while Kelly was bumping her left knee nervously. She seemed pale but at least she stopped crying a little while ago. 

"You think he" Alisha spoke up again but it was obvious that she seemed to try and find the right words as she sat there. "You think he was raped?" 

"Looked like it," Curtis replied quietly but Simon could hear the anger lacing his words. 

"That's not right," Alisha said. "We need to find whoever did that to him. I mean, yes, he’s a fuckin’ annoying cunt, innit? But he’s our annoying cunt! No one gets to fucking beat him up and rape him and leave him like that!"

"We’ll find out who did this," Kelly promised to no one in particular. "And that guy will wish to have never been born." 

Kelly, though sometimes a bit aggressive in nature, wasn't someone who would outright go the violent path, and declaring something like that seemed not very Kelly-like, to begin with, but Simon shared the sentiment. Whoever was behind this, would not live to see another day as soon as Simon Bellamy would have found them. 

"You think he’ll pull through?" Alisha turned to the rest of the group again.

"If not" Curtis spoke up. "we need to take care of him quickly before he’s sent to get an autopsy or something. We could probably steal him from the morgue in time before he wakes up again." 

It seemed so macabre that they had to plan like this but it was true. If Nathan would die on the doctors, they would be very quick to send him to the morgue and the police would probably want his body as evidence as well. They needed to be quicker than the doctors or the police in that case. 

"I could smuggle him out," Simon said. It was the first time that he spoke up since they all met back up here at the hospital. "Turn invisible and get him out." 

Even though the idea of manhandling the dead body of his friend was horrifying in and of itself. Just as they were planning out stealing their friend’s dead body, however, a doctor approached the group. She was a middle-aged lady with her hair neatly pulled out of her face and into a nice updo, an understanding and soft expression in her brown eyes, and a friendly smile. Her name tag read ‘Dr. Montgomery’. 

"Are you here for Nathan Young?" She addressed the group in a kind yet solemn voice. Simon was the first to get to his feet immediately but didn't quite manage to actually speak to answer her question. His tongue was tied. His mouth was wired shut. He could feel sweat building on his forehead right away. "Are you members of his family, perhaps?"

"We’re his friends." Kelly supplied and the smile of the doctor faltered a little. "How is he?"

"I can't really give any information out unless it's to family members." Dr. Montgomery replied friendly and with a hint of an apology to her voice. "What about his parents?"

"They won’t come," Kelly stated firmly and held the doctor’s gaze just as firmly too. They all knew that the nurse from the front desk would have called Nathan’s parents by now and that if none of them had shown up yet, chances were slim that they still would. Simon couldn't help but think about the awful things that Nathan had told him about the way his mother had reacted to his resurrection. Maybe Nathan even thought that his mother would’ve been happier if he had stayed dead. "He has no contact with his dad and his mum kicked him out" Kelly continued with a little shrug, although her gaze turned a bit more hopeful then. Hopeful, that Dr. Montgomery would show some consideration for their plight. 

"We are his family" Alisha cut in, oddly sentimental for what she was usually like. She was the last person Simon would have expected to say something like this about their resident troublemaker. "And we’d really like to know how he’s doing, okay? Is he alive?"

"Yes," Doctor Montgomery said with a little sigh. For a moment, she seemed torn about whether or not she could actually reveal anything but then she gave up. "Good, listen." She walked over to the group and took a seat right next to Kelly, grasping the young woman’s hand in a show of comfort like she would do if Kelly was Nathan’s sister or his mother. 

"When your friend arrived, he was already in critical condition. It seems a miracle that he survived his injuries as long as he has. We had to operate right away." Even though Simon knew that his friend couldn't really die, he was afraid about what she would say next. "He almost didn't pull through. He suffered from internal bleeding, a few broken ribs, and a ruptured spleen which needed to be taken out. Other than this, he has experienced more than enough blunt trauma for two people and suffered from a skull fracture that caused his brain to swell so we needed to reduce the swelling. He lost quite a lot of blood too and there’s evidence of repeated sexual assault as well. Your friend has a long and rocky road to recovery ahead of him but we think he can pull through. If he survives the next twenty-four hours, he’ll live. However, there is no way of telling about long term effects yet. We have to wait and hope for the best. I would implore you, though, to talk to Nathan’s parents. They should reconsider visiting him at least." 

Before it’s too late. But Dr. Montgomery didn't say that. She didn't need to say that her hopes for Nathan’s survival were slim. They could all feel it in the way she talked, looked at them, or pressed Kelly’s hand. 

"Can we see him?" Kelly said already toying with a tissue as new tears had started welling up in her eyes. 

"I’m afraid not. He’s in the ICU for now. Only family members are allowed in there. You can visit him as soon as he’s out of the ICU." 

Simon almost shrunk in on himself as all his friends suddenly looked at him. Neither one of them needed to say anything. The order was clear. He was going to go in there and keep watch over Nathan. Not just in case of him dying but also to just being there for him. They trusted him to be there for their friend. It seemed such a huge responsibility that was suddenly loaded onto his shoulders but he nodded at his friends regardless and sunk back into his chair until Dr. Montgomery had taken her leave again.

"Jesus Christ" Curtis muttered and wiped a hand over his face. He looked as exhausted as he would after running a marathon. At least that was what Simon thought he would look like after running a marathon.

"Poor Nathan" Alisha joined in and for once it didn't seem mocking in the slightest. "He’s an asshole, yes, but he really doesn't deserve something as awful as this." 

"What do you guys think happened?" Simon asked quietly. "And how long he lay there?" Maybe that was the most horrible aspect of all of this. Maybe Nathan had been lying there for hours on end. Maybe he had been awake even after his head injury but unable to move, unable to call for help. Just lying there, helpless, in pain, alone, and afraid. 

"Maybe just some assholes on drugs?" Kelly offered. "High off their asses? Maybe they broke into the center. Maybe Nathan wasn’t in bed when they started trashing the place. Maybe they ran into him and decided to attack him. I doubt that there’s any rhyme or reason behind something like this."

"No" Simon shook his head mainly because he didn't want to believe that it had been such a senseless act that nearly cost Nathan his life - no matter the fact that he was immortal. "He was behaving weirdly lately. When I saw him Friday night, he had bruises all over."

"So?" Kelly sighed. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"The doors of the center weren’t locked." Simon shrugged. "The doors are always locked when he’s alone in there at night because the custodian locks the place up for the night. Nathan usually hides out somewhere or is outside and sneaky back in through a window. Sometimes he steals the keys from the office if he wants to go out after the place has been locked up."

"Simon, please." Alisha sighed, not wanting to play detective right now. She didn't have much patience.

"What if he was out, met a few people, got piss-drunk like always, decided it was a good idea to take them to this place and they started trashing the place before attacking Nathan?" 

"Even so, what does that have to do with him behaving weirdly?" Kelly too seemed at the end of her rope right now. Her eyes were puffy and red. "Either way, we are not gonna figure anything out without Nathan being awake to tell us anything." 

"Are you good with watching over him?" Curtis directed his concern at Simon next and he found himself nodding.

"I mean … no one else can, right? If he dies … I’m gonna get him out immediately." 

"Maybe he would fare better dying," Alisha muttered. "At least his injuries would be healed then when he comes back. At least he wouldn't have to deal with the pain then. I guess the memories will be worse enough." 

They were all silent after that, at least for a while. Neither one of them had any idea what to say about any of this. It was just such a fucking awful situation to be in. Knowing that Nathan had been all alone when it had happened, knowing that none of them had checked in on him throughout the weekend, knowing that he had probably been scared shitless lying there on the ground not able to do anything about what was happening to him. Simon felt helpless and wondered if Nathan had felt that way too. A little while later, his friends started to leave one after the other, and only he remained before going to the toilets only to emerge from them invisible. 

Sneaking into the ICU was almost too easy in this form and so he walked down the hallway, searching for the right room before finding Nathan’s at the end of the hallway. the voyeur inside of him wanted to take a photo but he couldn't bring himself to, not when his friend had a tube down his throat to help him breathe, not when there was a heart monitor supervising his vitals, not when there were so many wires attached to him. Nathan looked as pale as the sheets he was in as Simon slowly sat down on the chair beside him. In the harsh neon light of the room, he looked plain awful. His face was littered in bruises, his head in a tightly wound set of bandages keeping all the pieces together as it seemed, his right hand was in a cast. He would probably whine about not being able to wank when he would wake up. Thankfully, the pale blue hospital gown was keeping everything else from view. He didn't think that he would have the stomach to see everything that had been done to Nathan without the blood concealing it. 

There had been so much blood.

He found himself grabbing Nathan’s left hand as it was resting uselessly on the mattress between them and just held it while he sat there waiting. 

**-End of Chapter 2-**


	3. Chapter 3

It was a miracle that nothing happened to Nathan while Simon was there. Eight hours went by with Simon idly sitting around doing absolutely nothing but watching the other man. Sometimes a nurse or even Dr. Montgomery herself would be checking on Nathan and then leave again. Those times, Simon needed to get out the way without alerting anyone of his presence. Other than that, however, everything was calm and quiet and Nathan slept like dead. Around noon, he had gotten the request from Kelly to send a photo of Nathan. Why she needed to see him so desperately in this horrible state, he couldn't tell but he assumed that she was with their friends, sitting around the café or the pub, worrying and not knowing what to do. 

In a way, he could understand her reasoning. Not knowing was sometimes torture. Simon himself was a person who always wanted, always needed every piece of a puzzle to feel better in a stressful situation and he assumed that Kelly and their friends thought that they too might feel better if they could see their friend. Even in such a bad situation. At least then they would know he was still there and had not dropped off of the face of the earth.

He hadn't felt good about taking a photo of Nathan like this even though he wouldn't have much of a problem with it under other circumstances and had proven so numerous times already in the past. Still, he had snapped a quick photo of Nathan in his sickbed and then focused back on his task of just watching over him and thinking about Friday night. Leaving Nathan behind at the center, he had felt good about it. He had felt like he had gotten to know the weird Irish kid a little better, that he now knew things that no one else knew about Nathan. 

Nathan, who always joked about everything, even about getting molested by his priest back in Ireland. Nathan, who had told him without telling him that he hadn't lied about being abused by his mother’s various boyfriends. Nathan, who seemingly had no one to confide in but the weird pyromaniac who could turn invisible and spent some time in a psych-ward. Nathan, who thought that no one would believe him anyway no matter what he would say. 

When evening approached and the shadows grew longer, however, everything went south. It started suddenly. Nathan’s blood pressure started plummeting, his heart rate started dropping and as Dr. Montgomery came rushing in with a few nurses, it was already too late. She tried in vain to resuscitate Nathan on the bed with Simon tightly pressed to the wall. He could only watch in horror how Dr. Montgomery ripped the thin cloth of the gown from Nathan’s chest before pressing the electroshock paddles to Nathan’s black and blue skin. Nathan jolted from the bed at the shock but nothing else happened. His heart still flatlined and even after two more trials and adrenalin that was injected to start his heart again there was no change.

"Time of Death 18:04." Dr. Montgomery stated with a grim face before she rushed out of the room, seemingly frustrated with the result of the day. It must be a frustrating job, having a patient as young as Nathan with such horrible injuries dying so quickly, Simon thought briefly to himself as he stood there and watched. It all happened in under fifteen minutes and as Simon stood there and stared at Nathan’s limp body on the bed, he felt like he couldn't breathe anymore. There had been no warning that his body was failing. Nothing at all. It had just happened. He still had Alisha’s words in his ears. Maybe he would fare better dying. 

He knew that Nathan would come back to life even after the beeping machines were shut off but seeing him die was still horrible. It had been horrible the first time when he had failed to save his friend from falling off a roof and being impaled by an iron fence. It had been horrible the second time, when he had uselessly stood by after Nathan had been once again impaled but this time by a pipe in the locker room, unable to do anything about him dying. It had even been horrible when Nathan had told them all about how he had been beaten to death by some unknown stranger who later turned out to be the father of the girl Simon had fancied even though he had not been there to watch it. And it was horrible now as Simon watched how the nurses were standing back for a second to take a breath before starting the clean-up process right away. 

Every needle and every wire connected to Nathan’s body was plucked with mechanic precision. There was not much talking. One of the nurses, a lady in, what Simon estimated, her late fifties, had said a quick prayer for Nathan after Dr. Montgomery had left but other than that it was mostly quiet apart from the shuffling around of the nurses. He wondered what it must be like to work in a job such as this, to be confronted by death every day. Not long after the clean-up process had first started, two other male nurses came with a stretcher and a body bag lying on top.

At first, Simon was confused as to why they brought a body bag. In the movies, they always just covered the bodies under a white sheet and called it a day. Then again, in movies or television, they rarely showed what happened after they covered the dead person with a white sheet. It made sense now that they came with a body bag. Nathan’s corpse was considered evidence, after all. The police would soon come and collect it. 

A part of him wanted to interrupt and go between the men as they hurled Nathan over onto the stretcher and on top of that open body bag while the other two nurses made quick work of stripping the bedding of Nathan’s bed completely. Even after they had put him in the body bag, Nathan looked like he was just sleeping. In a way he was just sleeping, Simon assumed. He felt helpless, as they zipped up the bag, grabbed the file from the end of the bed, and placed it on top of Nathan’s dead body.

For a brief moment, Simon just stood there and watched them all leave before he opened his phone and typed a quick message to Kelly.

"Nathan died. Meet me at the back of the hospital. Fifteen minutes." 

He put his phone on silent after that so that he wouldn't get found out by the staff as he crept after them. He just reached the elevator as the two nurses with Nathan had wandered inside and quickly hurried into the elevator after them. Together they went down into the basement and Simon had to hurry to get out before them. Afterward, he followed the procession down a long corridor and listened to the two men chat quietly. They were talking about Nathan but didn't really say anything except ‘poor kid’ or ‘what a way to go, man’. When they reached the morgue they just pushed Nathan into the room before the first of the two men opened one of the refrigerated compartments where the dead bodies were kept until transport and pulled out a stretcher.

It was hard to watch how they manhandled Nathan’s dead body around like this as if he was nothing but a ragdoll until they closed the door of Nathan’s compartment, leaving him in the cold and dark. "So this one’s going to the police, I guess." One of the nurses said as he marked something down on the clipboard. He recognized it as the one that they had taken from Nathan’s bed before and which they were now attaching to the door behind which Nathan was waiting for his resurrection. Simon only hoped he would take his time until they would be safe somewhere. 

"Yeah, the police said we should notify them if he bites the dust immediately. The coroner will take him to the police and then straight for autopsy." 

The men nodded to themselves and left after a job well done to undoubtedly inform the fuzz next. Simon waited for another moment and listened to them walk down the same corridor they had just come down. As he could no longer hear them, he hurried over to Nathan’s compartment, opened it, pulled the stretcher out, and flung Nathan gracelessly over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. He had the clarity of mind to also grab the clipboard before he made his way out of the morgue and down the corridor towards a metal door that would - according to the floor plan that Simon had time to study earlier today - lead towards a small staircase outside and straight to the back of the hospital. 

When he reached the doors he didn't wait for another second to barge through them and out into the crisp air of the early evening hours. Nathan seemed to weigh almost nothing to him now as he hurried up the stairs with him. Kelly was already waiting in her car not too far off. He hurried over, still invisible with the body bag over his shoulder, almost impossible to spot in the dusk. Quickly, he opened the backseat door and pushed Nathan inside before slipping in on the passenger's side and turning visible again. 

"Jesus Christ, Simon!" Kelly let out. "What are we gonna do now?"

"You drive. Preferably someplace safe." 

"We’re going to my place. My Mum isn’t home tonight." Kelly decided quickly as she stepped on the gas. "Tell the others to meet us there, would you? They were quite worried all day. We all were. That photo you sent almost gave Alisha a heart attack."

"Well, you asked for it."

"And I regret it," Kelly muttered as she was pushing her car out of the parking lot behind the hospital and then into the street. "That's something I will never forget again." 

Twenty minutes later, they had arrived as her apartment building. It was dark enough so that someone looking out the window wouldn't see them carrying a black body bag into the building. Simon easily flung Nathan back over his shoulder and together the duo hurried inside, into the elevator, and out on the floor that Kelly’s flat was on. He had never been to her place before but when they reached her apartment Alisha and Curtis were already waiting for them outside.

"Jesus!" Alisha paled considerably as they took notice of the body bag. "Is he in there?"

"Of course, he is!" Kelly all but barked before pulling out her keys and opening the door hastily to let them all in. The last they could use right now were nosy neighbors. Only when the door to her apartment closed again, Simon could release a breath of relief and put Nathan down on the sofa in Kelly’s living room.

"Could you maybe … let him out?" Curtis asked quietly and clearly uncomfortable and Simon immediately went to unzip the body bag, half expecting Nathan to have his eyes open and cracking a joke. Instead, he was still dead as he pulled him out with Kelly’s help. His bruises still hadn't healed even the slightest. Well, sometimes it took a few hours.

"He looks horrible." Alisha sighed but it sounded worried more than anything and she even went as far as brushing a few stray curls out of Nathan’s face which were smushed down by the bandages around his head. 

"I hope he can tell us what happened when he wakes up again," Curtis said. "I doubt the fuzz takes the case real seriously, honestly. To them, he’s just another lowlife less they need to worry about, right? They couldn't care less about who did this to him or why."

"Well, I would say, get comfortable then, guys." Kelly sighed. "It's gonna be a long night." 

※※※※※※※ 

They ordered pizza and watched crappy TV as if it was just a normal night with friends and as if one of their friends wouldn't be lying dead and cold on the couch on top of an unzipped body bag. Kelly was afraid of fluids leaking out of Nathan and onto her Mum’s couch. Not that anyone could blame her. Not when they all knew Nathan’s track record of shitting or peeing himself alive or dead. It was easy to pretend that Nathan was just sleeping the way he lied there - even as his body became stiff - after Kelly had spread a warm blanket over the young man.

The hours ticked by endlessly without any sign of waking coming from Nathan. When midnight finally rolled around, there was suddenly a groan coming from the couch and everyone's attention quickly snapped towards the fifth member of their group of wayward youth. Simon held his breath as Nathan’s eyelids fluttered and his mouth moved with slow tentative breaths he took. His lips were no longer blue after the blood had stopped circulation but slowly turned a pale pink again. And just like that, his eyes flew open in horror before he shot up on the couch and looked around with wild eyes like a cornered animal. 

Kelly was the first to address him, even though Simon wished it would be him instead. However, once more his tongue was tied. "Stay calm, alright?" Kelly said in that thick chav accent of hers. That actually did seem to calm Nathan down at least slightly as his breathing started to slow again and his eyes stopped darting the minute Kelly put both hands at the sides of his face to focus Nathan’s attention on her. He wished he would be able to touch Nathan like that without stupid jokes in return or without the fear of scaring him now that that happened to his friend.

For just once, he even forgot that Kelly could very well hear those thoughts of his. Not that it mattered much. She probably knew anyway. She had probably known for a while now how Simon thought about Nathan. Perhaps that was why she always kept telling their friend not to mess around with Simon. 

"You are at my place, okay? We are all here, alright? You just came back after dying at the hospital a few hours ago. Can you remember anything?"

"Slow down" Curtis drawled. "Slow down, let the man breathe, okay? Look at him! He’s confused as all hell, give him some space. Hey, Mate, you wanna take a shower?"

Nathan nodded wordlessly which was odd to see considering just how much Nathan usually ran his mouth. Usually, he didn't seem to have so much trouble getting back on track after dying. At least it hadn't seemed like it the last two times he did die. About the first time, Simon couldn't say much, of course. Maybe the circumstances of his death were to blame for Nathan’s quietness. 

"Yeah" He managed to get out before dry-coughing and untying his tongue properly. Sometimes he wondered if waking up from being dead was waking up like after a long fitful sleep while being sick. He could ask him in time, he assumed. Kelly pulled back the blanket and allowed Nathan to have a look at the hospital gown he was still wearing. A cheeky little smirk played on his face as he wiggled his brows. It was a small attempt of acting as if everything was as it always were. 

"Okay, ladies, please avert your eyes. We don’t want you to get blinded by that glorious, glorious ass I have." 

His humor was short-lived, however, when he raised to his feet only to crumble gracelessly immediately. His knees were apparently not willing to support him yet. If it wouldn't have been for Curtis catching him, he would have hit his head on the coffee table and probably broken his neck. Curtis however gingerly pulled him back up and pulled one arm of Nathan across his shoulders to steady the other delinquent. 

"Maybe a bath then." Nathan chuckled quietly to himself. 

While Curtis helped him walk or rather dragged Nathan in the direction of the bathroom, Simon decided to make himself useful. He got up and quickly hurried past the two men so he could start running a bath for his friend while Alisha gave a whistle - undoubtedly at Nathan’s naked ass. So far his friends seemed eager to treat Nathan the same as always and he could understand why that was. Even on a normal day, Nathan’s ego seemed so fragile that he had to put up that larger than life persona and right now none of them wanted him to retreat into his shell or feel even worse than he already felt. 

"Gee!" Nathan giggled as Curtis helped him to sit down on the closed toilet lid. "Guys! You know, usually, I don't take on dudes, right? You could at least buy me dinner first, make it nice and romantic for me." 

Curtis didn't seem very willing to laugh about the joke but he still forced one out and patted Nathan’s shoulder. "I leave you two lovebirds alone then." 

After Curtis had exited the bathroom and closed the door behind him, Simon focused back on the bathtub and the water. Suddenly, he couldn't quite look at Nathan, not after sitting at his bedside for 8 fucking hours. Weird how that suddenly happened. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see how Nathan was slowly unraveling the bandage around his head, and, suddenly, Simon wanted him to tell him no. For just a second, a horrifying image of pieces of Nathan’s head falling off flashed in front of his eyes. However, as Nathan took off the bandages, there was nothing to see anymore and as Nathan rubbed his scalp there seemed no injury left.

"Good thing about dying, Mate … heals almost every wound - at least the lethal wounds, I guess." His body was still littered in colorful bruises as Nathan shrugged the gown off - even though they had faded a little by now. Nathan didn't even seem concerned about stripping in front of Simon and there was not even a joke about it like Simon would have expected from the jokester.

"Enjoying the view? You know usually, I charge for it but since you’re a friend I guess I’ll give you this one for free. Tell me, shall I turn around or bend over or something?"

Okay, maybe he had stared after all. He cleared his throat instead of indulging Nathan. "Let me help you."

"Oh, Barry!" Nathan laughed and Simon noticed how loud he chose to make his voice. He wanted the others to hear it, wanted to keep playing the class clown even though he probably knew that they knew what happened. That was, of course, if he remembered it at all. "So forward! Give a lady some time, Mate!" 

Simon rolled his eyes but helped Nathan to his feet regardless before carefully depositing him in the tub. He pulled a face while sinking into the water. "Too hot?"

"Me? Nah, just the right amount of hot." Nathan winked, knowing that he could make Simon uncomfortable with this. It didn't work this time around, however. 

"Okay … I’m outside, right? Just … yell when you need help or something."

"Why? Are you gonna wipe my ass too, Daddy?" 

"Twat." Simon replied but they shared a small smile at that and almost Simon thought that it could be like it was Friday night again between them, before all this shit had happened. He should never have left. But how could he have known that something like this might happen to his friend? How could anyone have known? 

"Can you stay, though?" Nathan then asked. "I promise I’m gonna warn you when I wash my balls so you can avert your virgin eyes." 

Simon just huffed a small laugh and sat down next to the tub on the ground. Sitting on the toilet seemed weird to him suddenly as it meant he would be able to stare at Nathan’s naked body the entire time. Not that Nathan seemed bothered by that thought. For a moment, they were quiet which was so out of character for Nathan that it almost worried him but Simon didn't need to wait long until the other boy spoke up again.

"Were you with me at the hospital?"

"Yeah."

"Aww, Barry!" He cooed loudly. "Did you hold my hand?" He felt the tips of his ears grow hot. "You did!"

"I was worried." Simon shrugged. "I mean you’ve almost bled out in the showers."

"I’m immortal."

"So? That doesn't mean we can't get worried about you when you get hurt, right?"

"You know what's nice about dying? It's like a soft reset. Though I appreciate it that you apparently stole my dead body from the hospital you little perverted freak you. Waking up in a coffin is really no fun. Though I really wonder what would have happened if someone had seen you! Oh my God, Barry! You would have immediately been arrested again and they would have charged you with wanting to fuck my dead corpse or something! Hilarious! Although … Oh my God, I think I just found a niche for me! Do you have any idea how many creepy guys are out there that want to have sex with a corpse? I could make bank! They would just need to kill me real quick and get it over with! I could be rich, Barry, rich!" 

"Don't-" He took a deep breath. "Don't joke about that. I wouldn't put it past you to actually do shit like that." 

"Yes! I mean haven’t you been listening, superbrain? I would make bank! And I wouldn't even hurt anyone! In fact, I think it could be argued that I should be knighted for it because I would provide a valuable service to society, alright? Just imagine it! All the corpse fuckers around the world could stop fucking unwilling corpses they took from graves or morgues or killed themselves and could just live out their sick fantasies on me!"

"You would hurt someone." Simon insisted bitterly even though he knew that Nathan either didn't want to understand the horror of the imagery he conjured or he just played it down - as he played everything down, as it seemed. "You would hurt yourself!"

"No, duh! I would be dead, that's the point!" Nathan snarked with the sass that Simon was already so used to and found pretty humorous under normal circumstances. These were no normal circumstances, however. " Plus I wouldn't even feel any pain afterward because, as I said, my body resets. As long as they don't mutilate my dead body or shit, I should be good to go afterward!"

"So same as at the community center?" He bit out through gritted teeth. "Is it now like that hadn't happened either, yes?"

"I don't know what you’re getting at." 

"I’m getting at the fact that you have been almost been beaten to death, raped, and then left for dead at the community center by some guy or maybe even multiply guys only to die at the hospital from your bloody injuries!"

He could see Nathan’s face freeze over for a moment before the other boy flashed him a dazzling smile once again. "I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don't remember a thing about last night. Great party, I might add."

"Great party? Nathan! The community center looks like an entire horde of elephants have ransacked the place! And we found you like that in the showers! Do you have any idea how horrible that was for us? And now you’re pretending like it's not even a big deal!" He wanted to shake him. He wanted to slap some sense into the other man.

"Because it's not, Barry! I’m alive, aren't I?" He made jazz hands at him but they lacked their usual dramatic flair. "I’m alive and well and everything is hunky-dory, even though I suspect that we are gonna need to clean up that mess, huh? Well, maybe I pretend to be dead until you guys are done with it. Speaking of which, how are you gonna explain to the police why my body isn’t where it's supposed to be?"

Well, they would have to think of something. Right now, that was not his biggest concern, however. "Nathan … We have to talk about what happened."

"I don't have to do anything. I’m a free man."

"Yes, you do." He insisted with a deep sigh. "Because when the police find out that you’re still alive, they will ask you about that night as well and they won’t let you go until you told them or they might just charge you with vandalism. You can't just protect whoever has done this to you."

"Who says that I’m protecting anyone?" Nathan snarled. "Are you quite done now? Because I would really like to wash my balls now and a man has his limits of what he wants others to see, right?" 

With yet another long-suffering sigh, Simon got to his feet again and walked to the door but found himself pausing and looking back at Nathan. "This isn’t over Nathan, I hope you know that. Because listen, that was not one of your usual stunts, alright? We were all worried sick for you, Kelly was hysterical when we found you and you owe us all an explanation. I’m not saying that I blame you for what happened to you at the center but you will need to tell us what happened. You owe us that much for putting up with your shit all the time."

"I owe you? Last time I checked, I never asked any of you guys to put up with my shit. If anything, you owe me for not saving me from falling off that roof, remember?"

"No, but that's what friends do." And wasn’t that just the weirdest thing? He, Simon Bellamy, had friends. Friends who would worry about him. Friends he would worry about. "And we are your friends, whether we like it or not, okay? We care. What do you think why I came back on Friday? I saw you at the center, I was invisible. I saw how you were going off at that vending machine, how down you really were when no one was looking. So no, Nathan, you didn't ask us to put up with your shit but we all still care. You are the most annoying cunt I have ever met but we all still l-love you."

With that, Simon got off the ground next to the bathtub and exited the room a little more quickly than he would have needed to, leaving Nathan in stunned silence.

**-End of Chapter 3-**


	4. Chapter 4

That Nathan wouldn't talk about what happened had to have been expected, Simon thought as the sun rose the next morning. By the next day, it seemed as if nothing at all had happened, as if the last twenty-four hours had just been a bad dream for the rest of the group with Nathan conveniently being spared from experiencing any of the horrors that they had to suffer through. However, they all knew that he was the one who had experienced the worst of said horror, to begin with. 

The next morning found all of them still in Kelly’s flat as neither of the gang had really wanted to go home that late at night after Nathan had emerged from the bathroom in Kelly’s fluffy white robe and nothing underneath. It was like the mask had been slipped back on at once. They had Nathan back. The old Nathan as if nothing had happened and Simon could tell that all of his friends were pissed about it. Not necessarily because they wanted their friend to suffer in any way while confronting what had happened to him but rather because they were tired of his laissez-faire attitude as it came to what had happened. 

To them, it was clear that they needed to talk about it with Nathan, that this was nothing he could just brush off and pretend as if it had never happened. This was not one more of his stupid abuse or molestation jokes that no one except Simon ever took seriously. Still, Nathan just shrugged it all off and was his usual annoying, cocky self as the gang headed out to the community center together.

"Have you thought about what you want to tell the police?" Kelly addressed Nathan as the community center came into view. "About you not being dead?"

Thankfully, Kelly didn't live too far away and the group had made it there within a ten-minute walk. To Simon, it felt quite refreshing to be surrounded by his friends on his walk to the center. He was used to going alone. This was a nice change of pace for him, even though the circumstances under which this happened weren’t as nice. Still, the fact that they were walking together now and, more importantly, that all of them had stayed together last night, told him that their group had grown together much more closely than he had realized before this nightmare had started yesterday.

"I just tell them that the hospital fucked up, that I woke up scared and cold in that compartment box and that I just ran out because that seemed to make the most sense to me." Nathan laughed. "I will add in a few tears, of course, to make it a little more believable. Good thing I am such a good actor, right?"

"You are a terrible actor," Alisha commented dryly. Simon, however, felt inclined to disagree. Nathan was a much better actor than any of the others could tell. Until now, at least, they had not realized how much of a show he was putting on for them each and every day of their shared experience. They had no inkling of what it truly looked like behind the mask. Hell, Simon himself could barely tell for certain even though he liked to imagine that he had seen Nathan at his most vulnerable on Friday while being invisible, even though he still prided himself on the fact that Nathan had opened up to him later on during their dinner. 

However, looking at Nathan now from the side, the cocky mask had slipped right back into place, and was determined to stay. He listened to Nathan giving mock affront to Alisha’s comment, listened to him laugh off her crude comments about him, and wondered when the first cracks would start to appear.

※※※※※※※

"I can't believe it!" Nathan groaned later as he was once again in his orange jumpsuit. "They make me clean up my own crime scene these wankers! Bloody wonderful! Brilliant! Hey, is that part of my fucking brain there? Not to mention that my mattress is now out in the trash! What am I supposed to sleep on now?" 

"You could go back to your Mum’s." Alisha offered as she was currently mopping up Nathan’s blood from the tiles of the shower. The police had been here already to clear the crime scene after they had collected everything they needed yesterday. Of course, they had been surprised not only to see Nathan alive and kicking but also to see him in such good shape. They had bought his story though as it seemed and demanded to talk to him later at the station so he could explain everything. 

"My Mum’s not exactly my biggest fan right now." Nathan laughed quietly as he was washing off the valves of the shower he had hit his head-on. "Ewww would you look at that!" He pulled a face as he pulled the hair away from the metal. "That's totally part of my head still attached to that hair!"

"Gross, Nathan!" Alisha shrieked and jumped back as he flung it at her. "Okay! I give up! I’m gonna help the others, you and Simon clean off your mess. I’m not gonna touch any more of your bodily fluids, alright? Cheers!" 

As Alisha pushed the mop into Simon’s hands and barged out, Nathan turned to him with a wide grin. "Girls!" He laughed as if he had not just flung a part of his fucking skull at the girl. "Am I right? Always so sensitive! It's just a little skin, blood, and hair, right?"

"I don't think that that's the problem," Simon replied calmly as he took over Alisha’s job and started mopping away all the blood into the drain. Of course, they could have just switched on the showers to wash all the blood into the drain but since the showers were shit and since the blood was literally anywhere, it just wouldn't do. 

"No?" Nathan asked innocently and blinked big owlish green eyes at him.

"No." He shrugged and turned one of the showers on to wash away everything that was still on the ground - even the piece of Nathan’s head that he had flicked at Alisha and that was now swiveling down the drain in the center of the room. "I think the problem is that we found you here in a pool of your own blood. I think the problem is that she was scared, like the rest of us, when we found you like this. I think the problem is that she doesn't know how to deal with it because you won’t tell us what happened."

"And do you know what I think?"

"Please do enlighten me."

"I think that you are thinking too much." Nathan shrugged. "I mean how does it come that you guys literally have a bigger trauma than I do? I mean, it happened to me, right? Shouldn't I be the one freaking out and rocking back and forth in a corner? Yeah? So, maybe Alisha should pull her panties out of her snatch and get over herself, alright? Cool." 

"Nathan-"

"No, don't ‘Nathan’ me in that tone, okay?" The other man cut him off and Simon could tell that he was seriously pissed because that playful smile on his face didn’t even nearly reach his eyes. " I mean, honestly, who gives any of you the right to be upset with me for not wanting to talk about it or cry like a little girl? I deal with this shit like I want to deal with it and none of you guys have any right to demand something else, okay? And Alisha? She really should get off her high horse! I mean, who ran around raping people with her powers when all of this started? It wasn’t me, that's all I can say, right? And if you’d excuse me now, I need to clean part of my brain off this shower." 

"I just-"

"Okay, just because I told you some things the other day doesn't mean I owe you anything else, right? I mean thanks for the food and stuff but I guess since you spied on me that night, you little pervert, I think I’m just keeping this shit to myself from now on. If I think I need a therapist, I’ll go find one." 

He knew that there was no use in arguing with Nathan any further. Nathan was one stubborn fucking bastard and there was simply no way anything would be able to get him to do anything he didn't want to do. So, he dropped it and just kept cleaning in silence. 

Later during their break time on the roof, Nathan lounged in the old dirty leather armchair that he liked to occupy sometimes. He looked a lot more tired than he would usually do after only a few hours of community work. Simon too felt exhausted. He had spent most of last night awake while the others had been sleeping around him. He had been terrified to fall asleep only to find Nathan dead again.

"Well, today just sucks." Nathan declared loudly to no one in particular and with wild flailing of his thin noodle arms.

"More than yesterday?" Curtis huffed in response with a crooked little grin. Except for Simon, neither of the others had yet addressed the situation with Nathan. Not properly, at least. Not apart from some silly remarks. Of course, it was nothing that one rushed to talk about with their friend, right? Simon could tell, that his friends all cared about what happened, otherwise, they wouldn't have stayed at Kelly’s place but apparently, none of them knew how to address it. 

"Since I wasn’t awake at all yesterday, yes, definitely." Nathan groaned. "I mean, shit man, we are never gonna clean all this mess up! And my poor innocent mattress! She didn't deserve to be thrown out like a common gutter whore like this!"

"Shaun found your wank sock" Kelly grinned. "He made Curtis throw it out too."

"Ewww don't remind me! Nasty, Man! Have you been raised in a barn?" 

"No, I’m sure cows are taking better care of their babies than my Mum did!" Nathan laughed and waved a hand in the air. "Anyway! I still don't know where I will sleep from now on. I mean … I guess there’s still the couch in Shaun’s office right?"

"I would say you can come back to my place again but my Mum is coming back from her trip today. She wouldn't be too happy." 

"How sweet of you to think of me." Nathan cooed and blew a kiss which only led to Kelly rolling her eyes and making a disgusted sound in the back of her throat. So, apparently this thing between them, whatever it was, was now well and truly over. He had been surprised, to say the least, when Nathan had started making advances towards Kelly. From the get-go, he had thought that there was not even a smidgen of sexual energy between those two and now they behaved more like brother and sister.

"You can crash at my place" Simon then offered bravely. "My parents are gone for the week. They headed out to Wales to my grandparents and my sister is on a class trip to Exeter. That's why she wanted to spend the weekend with me, you know?" 

"As much as I would love to see your childhood bedroom and play with legos, I think I’ll pass. Shaun’s couch can't be that bad, right?"

"Not nastier than your disgusting mattress at least." Alisha sighed. 

In a way, Simon felt a sting to his chest as Nathan rejected his offer like this but he could tell that it wasn't about his bedroom or anything. It wasn't even so much about spending the night at Simon’s place. It was just that he was afraid that Simon would keep pressing. He could tell that by now. 

"So, how do you plan on staying here overnight, though?" Curtis asked. "I mean, the doors have been repaired, right? And now the custodian will probably make extra sure that no one is here at night."

"Easy." Nathan shrugged. "Same as every other time when I didn't go out and sneaking back in. I just hide somewhere until the place is locked up. No problem." 

※※※※※※※

Simon was woken up that night by his phone going off on his nightstand. The moment he had fallen into bed that night, he had been out like a light and slept blissfully until his phone started ringing and almost vibrating off the nightstand. He took a quick look at it only to find Nathan’s name popping up on the screen and didn't hesitate to take the call. 

"Nathan? What's wrong? It's…" he took a glance at his alarm clock. "It's 1 AM."

"Barry, thank God you’re awake!" He sounded out of breath and that, in turn, made Simon sit up in bed in alarm. "Hey … Remember how you invited me to stay at your place tonight? I’m downstairs." 

He blinked in surprise. Then again, it was Nathan. Why would he be surprised that his friend was downstairs in the middle of the night after first rejecting him and his generous offer? "One sec. I let you in." He muttered as he jumped out of his bed and left his room. The apartment was eerily silent this late at night without anyone else home. He pressed the buzzer next to the front door of the apartment and heard it over the phone going off and how Nathan opened the door to the apartment building next. "Bellamy, fourth floor. Take the elevator and then turn left." 

"I know your last name, Barry, what kind of friend are you taking me for?"

"The sort that calls me Barry," Simon replied dryly and got a high-pitched laugh in response. 

"Well played, twat!" A second later, the phone call was cut off as Nathan undoubtedly walked into the elevator. So, Simon closed his phone and switched on the light in the apartment, before he opened the apartment door and leaned outside. A few seconds later, he heard the elevator doors open in the center of the hallway, followed by Nathan’s babbling as the other boy seemed not to have noticed that the call had cut off.

"It's pitch black, Barry!" He heard him whine into the phone, so Simon extended his arm out into the hallway and pressed the little button next to the doorbell that would switch on the ceiling lamps outside. Nathan startled at that before looking his way and waving excitedly. "Call you back later!" He muttered into the phone before snapping it close and pushing it into the back pocket of his jeans. 

He noticed the lilt in his voice now that he was closer and his voice no longer distorted over the phone. He also noticed the staggering as Nathan moved towards him before Simon let him inside the apartment. For a moment, he wondered if he had thought this through enough. Letting Nathan into the home of his family, allowing this twat into his inner sanctum, so to say. 

"Are you drunk?" He addressed his friend right away as Nathan stepped inside the apartment. 

"No, not at all. Maybe just a little. I found one bottle that they didn't smash, you know. Was half empty anyway. Nice place you’ve got going on." 

"Thank you." Simon sighed and closed the door. He felt a little awkward having Nathan inside his home now. Sure, he had offered it to his friend to stay here until his parents would return or until Nathan would have figured something else out for himself - whichever would happen first - but now that Nathan was actually here, it really was odd. He was like a wine stain on a pristine white shirt. He stuck out like a sore thumb. Not that this was new by any means. 

"Hey … weird question" Nathan suddenly spoke up and Simon couldn’t help but notice how he was fidgeting with his jacket a little. "Can I take a shower?"

"Yeah, sure." Simon was so surprised by the question, that he couldn't think of any reason why not right of the bat. "Make yourself at home … Well, maybe not … like … you know what I mean."

"Sure, sure." Nathan immediately shot back and Simon ended up showing him the bathroom without any more hesitation. He watched the other man walk into the bathroom. Nathan left the door ajar and Simon hovered for another moment before he walked back into his room. With a sigh, he switched the light on inside before walking over to his dresser and pulling out a pair of loose-fitting sweatpants, a pair of boxer shorts, and a simple white shirt. With the exception of the pants, the clothes should be a little too big on Nathan’s lithe body but it was better than nothing. Even if the pants would be too short on Nathan’s long legs. A moment later, he softly knocked on the door of the bathroom, crouched down on the ground, and pushed the clothes into the room before hastily retreating again. 

"I put some clothes for you on the ground!" He called through the door over the sound of the shower running. He didn't get an answer from the other side and he hadn't expected one either.

Not quite sure what to do with himself next, Simon sat down in the living room so he would hear when Nathan would be done with his shower. Not that he wanted to be creepy in any way or prompt Nathan to call him a pervert again - he was just concerned for his friend's well-being and that was why he kept an ear out for him. 

Ten minutes later, he heard the shower turn off, and Nathan clumsily moving around the bathroom. It almost sounded like he was knocking over shit but not five minutes later, the door opened again and Nathan walked out with Simon’s clothes on. He couldn't quite describe what it did to him to see Nathan wearing his clothes, knowing that Nathan had used his body wash and shampoo. It was an odd tingly sensation in the pit of his stomach, the same one he had always gotten when Nathan had looked at him like a puppy in love the time when he had this tattoo on his shoulder. Even the memory of the tattoo was still somewhat arousing to him. 

"I needed that!" Nathan sighed as he sauntered into the room, his curls still dripping on his shoulders, and slumped down next to Simon on the couch. "Thanks, Dude."

"No problem," Simon muttered. "But why didn't you just shower at the community center? Or didn't your plan work?"

"No … No, my plan worked just fine, really. No one saw me. I was like ninja Batman or something. No … It was just … I just … Hey, is that the complete Harry Potter DVD collection?" 

Simon was a little startled by that sudden change of topic. Nathan was a master of changing topics but Simon could still tell that it was just that, a change of topic because he felt uneasy discussing what was truly going on with him. Others might have danced around the topic but Simon wasn’t like most people and he had just opened his home to Nathan. He didn't care so much for the fact that he might be pressuring Nathan in any way and that he shouldn't be so blunt, perhaps. He had allowed Nathan into his inner sanctum, stole his dead body from a morgue, and held his hand for nearly eight hours straight while Nathan had still been fighting death. He deserved an open conversation whether Nathan liked it or not.

"It's because of what happened there … in the showers." Simon sighed. 

"What? Bullshit. I was totally fine cleaning the showers today, right? It's just-"

"It's just that it's different in the daytime and when we were all within earshot. It's something different at night when you are alone in the community center in the dark and when potentially no one can help you or hear you scream."

"Geez, Barry! You are such a fucked up psycho!" 

"I’m gonna tell you a story, okay? And you are gonna listen to me without any stupid joke or you can sleep in some alley for all I care." Simon’s glare was silencing for once and Nathan had that same frozen little grin on his lips that he had had when Simon had first yelled at him about the names that Nathan used to call him. Not that much had changed since. "Okay, when I was sixteen to seventeen I was regularly allowed to stay at the computer lab of my school after hours. I was in the computer science club."

"Surprise, surprise." Another glare shut Nathan up for good.

"So, anyway … I didn't have friends - I know: surprise, surprise again - and my home life … My parents were a lot at that time. I thought they were gonna divorce and I really didn't want to be home as much as possible. Not that they would have noticed that I wasn't there, to begin with. They mostly cared about my sister and her achievements at that time. Long story short: I spent almost every day after school at the computer lab, sometimes until the school would be closed off for the night, so … 9 - 10 PM. It was kinda my safe space if you will. The people in the club actually respected me even if they didn't like me. I felt safe and good there."

"So what happened?"

"Matt and his friends happened." Simon shrugged. "Matt is the boy whose house I wanted to burn down. But that's a different story. Anyway … one day, when I was seventeen and staying late, Matt and his friends came into the lab. I guess they wanted to download porn or something, I don't really know. They started harassing me there - the one place where I was never bullied. They tried forcing me to go on some really messed up porn sides for them on my account so that the blame would fall on me then. When I refused they pushed me to the ground and started kicking me. One of the guys even pissed in my backpack and another boy went on those sides to get me in trouble with the school. I could explain it to my teacher and she believed my story so I wasn't kicked out of the club as those assholes intended but … after that, I couldn't stand being there on my own. So, every time everyone else left, I did too, until at some point I couldn't stand being there at all and I quit the club. I would have studied computer science at the university if I would have stayed in that club but after that … I just couldn't."

"You did well trying to burn this guy’s house down. You should’ve shit in his bed too." 

Simon managed a small smile at that but looked meaningfully at Nathan next as his friend got more comfortable on the sofa next to him. Simon handed him the woolen blanket that was resting beside Simon on the armrest of the couch. Nathan immediately cocooned himself in the blanket. "You see … I get it. The community center was your sort of home for months now, right? You slept there, you ate there, you-"

"Shat and wanked there?"

"Yes." Simon chuckled. "It was your home even though you were technically homeless. But it was a place where you felt safe away from home. And now that this thing happened, your safe space has been invaded and desecrated. You feel vulnerable now when you are there alone." 

"Wow aren't you just a proper Dr. Phil, Darling."

"After everything you told me or rather not told me on Friday, I would almost assume that you felt safer at the community center than at home with your Mum. Which is why you didn't try to move back in with your Mum in the beginning, after this whole fiasco with her weird boyfriend." 

He could see the glistening of moisture in Nathan’s eyes but he looked away quickly and forced a smile onto his face. "I mean, he was already on top of me once, right? I really didn't need a repeat of that in my own four walls, dog or no dog." 

Simon allowed a brief moment of silence to settle over them before he opened his mouth again. "Tell me." He offered quietly and the sigh that Nathan let out at that told him that finally, the other man was ready to no longer turn him down even if just so that he could get it over with and no longer be annoyed by Simon pestering him.

"I went out, that night, to party." Nathan started quietly. "I got drunk but … it was no fun without you guys. Don't tell the others I said this or I’m gonna piss in your bed. Anyway … There were those guys … Three guys. I … I knew them a little, met them before - individually, though." Something about the way he said it sounded off to Simon but he decided to listen first before he would ask questions. "They … Well, they wanted to hook up, alright? Don't look at me like that. I am a very open guy! Anyway, I told them no - I’m not gay, after all. They offered me money - I still said no. After that, things soured for me and I decided to call it a night. So I went back to the community center. I didn't know that they followed me there."

He paused for a second and his impression that Nathan was not telling the full story, only grew at that but he still didn't question his tale, yet.

"So, I went back home and snuck in through the window that I keep open when the doors are locked at night. These guys must’ve seen me get in but went to the front, right? So, anyway, I didn't know any of that, I was just heading to my bed when I started hearing the noises. I realized only after a minute or so that they were trashing the doors - didn't know who it was at first, so I just hid somewhere I thought they wouldn't see me. Then I thought, they’re probably just there to rob the place, right? So, if I just stayed out of the way I should be fine." He shrugged. 

"I mean, it's not my job to take care that no one robs the center, right? Not my problem if it gets vandalized. I hid under the desk in Shaun’s office for a little bit and just listened to them trashing the place. I guess they were just so fucking high off their assess that they forgot that they were there for me or something. Dunno, don't care. Anyway … they started coming down that hall, raiding the bar and smashing the bottles and I started to panic because I knew that they would probably come to the office too, so I snuck out of there and thought that my safest bet would be the locker room. All things considered, I should have just made a run for it. But I didn't think it would be so bad - I didn't even know it was them, after all. So while they trashed the place I hid in the locker room and when I heard them coming down the hall … I darted into the showers. I thought ‘What reason would they have to look there’, right? I thought they just wanted to raid the lockers. Not much to steal there anyway … And then I realized that they were actually looking for me." 

"That's scary shit."

"Yeah, get it now why I don't wanna talk about that scary shit? You are always on about how you guys found me and shit - but I lived that, alright? And I’m not very happy to relive it now just for your pleasure."

"I’m not … If you don't want to-"

"No! You know what? Now that I bloody started, I’m gonna finish, okay? You are not leaving me high and dry here, mate - first making me all hot and bothered and leaving me hanging then!" 

"Just … if you feel you can go through with it."

"I’m not some crying little bitch, okay? I can say it no problem. I was raped by three dudes in the community center showers. See? I can say it. Joke of my life! Now I can never again make any kind of joke about dropping the soap! Happy now? I was raped and couldn't defend myself because there were three of them and I was alone. Is that doing it for you? Yeah? I was … They just left me there. They beat the fucking crap out of me, slammed my head against that shower and they left me for dead." There was no denying the little tremble in his voice or the way he clenched his jaw as he said those things and stared ahead with such intensity as if he was going to set the carpet ablaze. It hurt to see him like that. "I would like to pretend that I didn't remember much or that I was too drunk or out of it because of my injuries to feel anything, but I felt everything. Everything. And none of you guys get to tell me how I’m gonna deal with that, okay?"

"I get it." Simon quietly reassured. "I get it. I’m sorry for pressuring you." 

"I will need to tell it to the police anyway … even though they should have the bloody camera footage - at least from the main rooms that were vandalized. They shouldn't need my fucking testimony at all."

"Nathan … I need to ask you something and … if you don't want to talk about it, I get it."

"What more could there possibly be that I could tell you? You wanna hear how it felt having their dicks in me while they took turns or what?" 

He cringed at the image Nathan conjured up in Simon’s brain but he soldiered on regardless. "It's about Friday." He sighed. "I saw that massive bruise you had and I … I noticed the other bruises you started showing lately. I was worried about you, that's why I stayed behind on Friday and watched you for a moment. You seemed … different when everyone was gone and I just … I worried and I wanted you to know that I am your friend and care about you. That's why I came back with food."

"Neither of that's a question, Mate."

"Where did you get those bruises, Nathan?"

"I got into a brawl."

"I don't believe you." Simon sighed. "You are more the running away kinda guy, not so much the fistfights kinda guy. You started acting strange lately, pretty much ever since this whole disaster with your brother and everything that happened after that. You started showing up late or leaving during lunch break for a while. I just … if you don't want to tell me, it's okay."

As Nathan looked at him next, Simon knew that he had cracked the shell. He couldn't quite tell what it was about the look Nathan gave him but for the first time, he thought that the real Nathan was looking at him at last. Almost like last Friday but this time his green eyes were sincere and oh so tired. In a way, he was happy that Nathan was opening up to him and at the same time, he felt dirty and horribly disgusted with himself for getting Nathan to lower all his defense mechanisms like that just because he needed to find out the truth.

"They were customers." He then said even though his voice was barely above a whisper. "The guys that attacked me." He then clarified. "They were my customers." However, as Simon’s face still couldn't shed his confusion, Nathan dropped his shoulders with a deep, earth-shattering sigh. "After Jamie's death, I knew that I had to change something, okay? And after my Mum … Well, after I realized that I am all on my own now and that my own Mum chose some terrier over me while my dad was just … well my dad, I guess, I realized that it was time to do something about my life. Jamie’s life had been cut short because he followed me into this chaos and I never got the chance to be a proper big brother for him. So, I started looking for work outside of the community service. As you can imagine, that's not possible." Nathan chuckled at that but it was severely lacking in real humor. 

"I mean it's not just that the times overlap but mostly my criminal record, of course. No one wanted to give me a chance. I didn't even get a job as a paperboy, can you believe it? I was tired of living off of vending machine food or relying on the kindness of my friends. I didn't really trust this new friendship anyway. Trust issues - just add it to the list of what's wrong with me, okay? Brilliant. I started to get desperate. For the first time in my life, I actually wanted to change, to become better, to work for a living, can you believe that? Me! Working! So … One night, we were all out partying and this guy started talking to me at the bar. He offered me money to … Well, to blow him, I guess. I told him to fuck off. But then I noticed the looks that you guys would give me when you would pay for my drinks, right? Pity. There’s nothing worse than being pitied. It makes you feel small and vulnerable and when you feel small and vulnerable you quickly feel afraid."

It was like a dam had broken and now that Nathan had started talking, he couldn't stop. And all Simon could do was watch him, stay quiet and allow him to pour his heart out, show him that he was someone Nathan could trust with these secrets. 

"And I … I spent so much time feeling like this as a child and as a teen … At one point in my life, I decided to never feel like this ever again, to never give anyone that power over me again. I started to become outrageous and loud and made my bullies laugh so that they would leave me alone. I started drinking and partying and fucking and buried myself under all of this." He gave a small shrug before straightening his shoulders to soldier on. 

"Anyway! After I realized all that … I found the guy from before again, asked him if he was still interested. He offered me 50 quid just to give him a blowjob and I thought to myself: Okay, easy. I’ve done that before. My Mum’s third boyfriend taught me that, I believe. So, I went to the toilets with him and just did it. And I felt fucking awful after but then I bought the next round of drinks for you guys and you cheered and I felt … a little less awful. I told myself, it's not that big of a deal. It's just my fucking mouth, right? I can do something useful with the thing instead of just mouthing off to everyone."

He felt his stomach turn at this tale. 

"Soooooo … yeah, I started finding guys who wanted to fuck me, after that. It wasn’t all that hard anyway. I went to the proper locations and a pretty boy like me easily found guys to pay me. Most guys were not too bad anyway. Some just wanted handjobs, others wanted me to jerk off in front of them. Kinky stuff, really. It wasn't that I enjoyed it, but it was easy money and I really didn't care that much. That changed when the first guy offered me 100 quid for the whole deal. I said no because I didn't feel like … There was this line in the sand, you know? A line that told me where it was okay and where it was not and my ass was way on the other side of that line. He didn't take my rejection too well. He beat me up and got it in any way. That was like … a month ago or so."

"He ... He raped you?"

"Yeah, I guess." Nathan shrugged. "He still paid me, though. I took it as something that I had to learn the hard way. Because there is no line in the sand when you are selling your body. Even if you think you sell just parts of it, just your mouth or your hand, you never sell just part of it and people will not take no for an answer because, when you first take a step into that world, you have become less than a human being for most people. You become a tool. Your body becomes a tool and you start viewing it as such. After that experience … I stepped away from it for a bit. We had so much going on here anyway with all that crazy shit, right? And who wanted to pay for damaged goods anyway? But then that same guy approached me again, out in the streets and I … I said no, told him to fuck off. He offered me 500 quid. I thought to myself ‘Well, the damage is done already, right? No going back anymore from here’. I went with him to his apartment. He’s a rough dude. He likes to strangle me and shit. I told him not to leave visible marks so that you guys wouldn't ask questions. He listened. The others did not."

"So those three guys wanted to buy you and when you rejected them, they followed you."

"Yes." Nathan sagged in on himself again. "I just told them that I was not in the mood for a fucking gangbang, right? Especially since I knew that every one of them was mostly rough with me. I guess they wanted to teach me a lesson."

Maybe the worst about all of that was that those men were still out there roaming free. They probably thought that Nathan was dead and as long as they thought that, Nathan was safe. However, the moment one of them would realize that Nathan had survived … No, he didn't want to imagine that. "We’ll make them pay." 

"How? I mean … I don't … listen … I don't want this to get public. If I’m telling the police who did it, they will ask questions about how I know them and then … then everyone knows. I can't … I can't do that, Simon." 

Simon. He was calling him Simon. The last time he had called him by his actual name had been during the tattoo incident and even now after this horrifying story, it still provoked the same reaction in Simon as it had last time. No, this time it was even worse because Nathan had told him his biggest, darkest secret, had trusted him with the most amount of pain that he had ever felt in his life. This time, it was not just possessiveness or arousal awakening inside of him. It was something deeper, something he couldn't quite describe yet. 

"Don't worry." He found himself whispering as he turned his body towards Nathan. "Tell me their names."

"What are you gonna do?"

"Tell me their names and you will never have to worry about them ever again."

**-End of Chapter 4-**


	5. Chapter 5

The footage of the security cameras had been useless to the police. Apparently, the cameras all around the building were just for show - which was a relief for the gang, after they had so often and openly talked about killing their probation workers right in sight of those cameras without thinking about the incriminating evidence they left behind. In fact, Simon had started to wonder why no one had been coming after them yet for the shit that they had been doing all this time. The next day, Nathan and he had left the apartment of his parents and went back to the community center as if everything was fine, as if nothing had happened last night. 

Of course, after Simon had asked Nathan for the names of his attackers, the other young man had asked what he wanted to do but Simon had silenced him in saying that he needed to form a plan before he would reveal anything. Not only a plan of how to deal with these monsters but how to deal with the police as well. There was no telling how much the police knew after all. Did they know it had been three men? Were they still searching for only one guy? Did they have any evidence? 

When they walked up to the community center, Simon could see their friends standing outside and waiting for them. It was purely on instinct that he stopped Nathan for a second while they were still out of earshot of the others. 

"Stick to the plan, okay?" Simon asked quietly as he was staring up at Nathan with intent. "The police will come at nine, they will ask you questions and you will say exactly what we discussed." 

He felt bad for telling Nathan what to do after everything but the way last night had ended … Better not think about it too much. A part of him was certain that he would never get these images out of his mind or the tale that Nathan had told him. Nathan’s eyes were still slightly red and puffy but he would be fine if he would claim to have smoked some weed a little while ago. At least Alisha and Curtis wouldn’t question them. As for Kelly … Well, considering that she could read their minds, she would know about all of this anyway soon. Nathan couldn't keep his mouth shut on a normal day, so there was no way he would be able to keep his thoughts in line. 

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Nathan sighed and when Simon still wouldn't look away he nodded again. "I know." He reaffirmed before putting up his best Cheshire grin. "I can't remember anything. I don't know who they were. I was hiding from them and they found me." 

"Okay," Simon whispered. "Don't tell them that there were three of them, remember?" 

Nathan nodded with a roll of his eyes. "What about the other thing?"

"I’m gonna give you my house keys later, alright? You’ll go home without me and I … just be there when I return, okay?"

Nathan looked like he wanted to ask the obvious question but, at last, he just nodded. Nathan was not the kind of guy who would start telling Simon that he couldn't go through with cold-blooded murder or some shit like this. Sure, Simon was not a cold-blooded killer and the time he had killed Sally had been an honest accident but this was something else entirely. Tony had been self-preservation because he had wanted to kill them, Sally had been an accident. Both of those people had been good people and he would carry Sally’s death with him forever no matter what she had done to him before. Those three guys, however … They were monsters and a hero’s job was it to slay monsters. 

※※※※※※※

Simon Bellamy knew that he was not a very experienced murderer but he didn't really need to be either. Not with a power such as his. The first guy, some Mitch Daniels, he found as the man left work. Mitch died in a dark alley between a flower shop and a supermarket without even knowing what was happening to him. He bled out on the ground of the alley, tucked away behind a dumpster from a half a dozen stab wounds. Simon had left the alley before he was even dead, Mitch’s wallet in the back pocket of his jeans.

The second guy, James Campbell died near the docks. Simon found the man exiting a gay bar near the harbor and put a crowbar to his head. James would be found with his head smashed in outside of a gay bar later that night with the word ‘fag’ written in his own blood on the wall next to him. 

Number three, Sean McGuinness, accidentally drowned in the river Thames after walking too close to the edge on a stretch of the riverside where there was no railing. He had been on his way home from the pub and fell headfirst into the river. 

Coming home that night to his apartment where he was living with his family felt a whole lot different than all those other times before. Not only because he knew that Nathan was inside waiting for him but because he felt like the world had just shifted and left it's axis just slightly. He had lost his equilibrium. His hands didn't feel like his hands anymore. They were the same hands that had killed three men tonight, three rapists but they didn't feel like his own hands anymore. During the acts, it had been easy to control his emotions. He hadn't thought about it. He has formed his plan earlier in the day, mapped out where to find those guys and how to get the job done, and went through with it. Now, however, the plan was completed and he stepped back into the real world. 

He took the elevator up to the fourth floor after Nathan had buzzed him in, walked down the hallway, and found Nathan already standing there in a pair of Simon’s boxer shorts and the same shirt he had worn last night to bed. Simon paused standing in the middle of the hallway and staring at Nathan as he was now; young, gorgeous, and bruised all over. He couldn't quite put his finger on it what made him pause and stare at his friend like this. Maybe it was the fact that he was not greeted by that grinning, self-assured, cocky bastard he used to know but by a young man who obviously went through loads of shit in his past and still managed to greet him with a smile and an excited: "Welcome home, Barry!" 

Maybe it was because he just came home from murdering three men for this one. Maybe it was because he didn't regret killing three men for this one. 

A little while later they sat together after Simon had taken a generous shower. They were lounging on his bed and music was playing softly in the background. Nathan even cracked a joke about his music selection and how nothing could beat ‘careless whisper’ for a ‘casual and absolutely not homoerotic hang out session with your buddy’ and Simon actually laughed about it. After he had come home they had eaten crappy ramen noodles together and just started hanging out like nothing had happened tonight. 

Nathan had not asked about his attackers until now as if he didn't want to know - as if it didn't really happen. However, Simon knew very well that the question was about to come. He could feel it crackling in the air. He could feel it in the way Nathan moved closer to him. The other young man had never had an understanding of personal space and though Simon had been bothered by that at first, he actually found calm in Nathan’s closeness these days.

"How did you do it?" Nathan suddenly wanted to know after he had taken another sip from his beer. The question wasn’t as bold as he was used to from Nathan. It was quieter, a bit timider even. 

"Do you really want to know?"

"I have to." Nathan sighed and placed his legs over Simon’s lap as if it meant nothing. At first, he was a bit uncomfortable with that position but then he found himself putting his hands down and resting them on Nathan’s naked knees. Nathan clearly didn't seem to mind the physical contact, if anything, he leaned into it.

"I stabbed one a few times," Simon muttered quietly. Saying it seemed to make it more real, all of a sudden. He had always wanted to be a good guy and now he had stabbed a man six times and let him die in some alleyway. He didn't know if Mitch had a family of any kind. Well, he had parents, at least. Maybe siblings. There would be a funeral, people that would mourn him, people that would never get closure of why their loved one had died. 

"Who?"

"Mitch. I took his wallet so it would look like a robbery gone wrong. On my way back, I disposed of his credit cards and his wallet in the Thames. I kept the money he had, though."

"Good."

"I beat James’ head in with a crowbar." He then continued, even though it cost him more energy than he would like to admit. "The police will think that it's been a homophobic attack or something like this. He just left that bar you told me about. I scrawled ‘ fag ’ at the wall in his blood to make sure the police would think that this was the reason for his death." A part of him felt horrible about that message. He could imagine the horror that would sweep through the LGBT community after tonight. They would be afraid to go out, afraid to go to that bar, afraid to be with their partners in public and James’ family would be devastated. 

"Smart." 

"Sean fell in the Thames." Simon then shrugged. "He came out of the pub, was drunk, I just needed to push him. He hit his head on the way down." 

"I think he was the one who beat my head into the shower," Nathan muttered quietly. "I don't really remember who it was. Sean had a thing for hitting me on the head though." He almost chuckled at that. "Before all that, I didn't know that this was a kink someone could have." 

"The police won’t see a connection between them. At least no obvious one by the way of their deaths or shit. They will be just three more deaths in London, I guess. Random. A robbery gone wrong, a homophobic attack, and one accidental death." It was easy to be clinical about this, even though he didn't feel as clinical or neutral about all of that. He had killed three men tonight and now he sat in his childhood bedroom and drank beer with the man he had killed all these other people for. He felt terrible but he didn't regret it. 

"Thank you, Simon," Nathan muttered after a moment of silence and as he looked at Simon, his eyes were again intense and honest and made Simon want to reach out and tug him into a hug. That would be silly of him, though. It would probably break what little trust Nathan had in him right now. It would be weird and overstepping boundaries. Even though Nathan had hugged him after that party where he had lost his virginity. Before that, Simon had almost been hopeful that Nathan would see him with other eyes than just through the eyes of friendship. Right now, however, Nathan was like a bird to Simon. A bird with a crippled wing and anything Simon would do, could scare that little bird off or break it even further. Maybe it was silly to think of someone as loud and boisterous as Nathan Young as a little bird. He was anything but fragile and helpless.

"I would do it again." Simon sighed.

"You are such a psycho." Nathan joked quietly but the insult didn't sting or left Simon feeling uncomfortable, instead, he joined in on that mischievous grin that spread over Nathan’s face. He was happy to see him smile, no matter what made that smile appear in the first place. "Still, thank you, honestly - no bullshit, okay? There are not a great many people that would have done something like this just for a friend, let alone for someone like me."

"What do you mean?" Simon cocked an eyebrow. "’Someone like you’."

"I mean…" Nathan paused and took another large sip from his bottle as if he was trying to find the proper courage to talk about what was happening in that head of his. "I mean … it's my own fault that all of that happened, innit? I pretty much provoked something like that to happen sooner or later."

"That's not true."

"Yeah, it is and we both know it, Barry. I was just naive, I guess. After the first time, I should’ve known that this is a game I shouldn't be playing without expecting to be hurt in the process."

"It still doesn't justify what happened." Simon urged. "You told me that, when someone starts working in this business, people no longer believe they had a right to say no. But that's not true, Nathan. You had every right to say no to them, to walk away. It's still your body, not just a tool like you said. And those men were monsters, they deserved what they got, in the end."

"So you are a vigilante now, huh?" Nathan teased. It was his way of coping. It had taken Simon quite a long time to understand it and now he felt stupid for taking so long. 

"Maybe I should be."

"The Invisible Cunt and his trusty sidekick Captain Invincible. Yeah, that sounds like a fucking great idea."

"We would make a good vigilante duo." Simon agreed. "You would distract them and I would gank them. Perfect teamwork."

They shared another laugh at the image but then Nathan’s gaze became serious once more. "How does it come that you … don't look at me any different than before? I mean the others just try and act as if nothing had happened, right? They crack jokes and shit but there is still pity in their eyes when they look at me, they try to be careful around me and think I wouldn't notice. I am damaged goods to them and they pity me for it, they think I might crack the moment they say something that would remind me of what happened. Even Kelly. She’s so … soft and nice to me right now. I miss her whacking me over the head and calling me a ‘stupid cunt’. But you … You don't look at me that way. And I don't get it. Not even after I told you my disgusting little secret … I would’ve expected you to kick me out when I told you, to tell me how much of a disgusting freak I was for even considering whoring myself out."

He wouldn't say it but Simon caught the subtext regardless. A part of Nathan had hoped that he would react so strongly to Nathans ‘dirty little secret’. In the end, Nathan knew how to deal with something like this better than he knew how to deal with people being soft and understanding with him. He was on safe terrain when people were horrible to him because that was what he knew best. 

"Because I don't think that you’re disgusting." Simon shrugged and took a small sip from his bottle. "I mean I didn't think you were disgusting when you shit yourself in your coffin either, right? Or for all the crude things you say and do. Don't get me wrong, I’m not saying you should've done it - this job - but … it was your choice. I don't have any right to tell you what to do with your body or how to make money. And just because now you … regret doing it because of what happened, I’m not gonna sit here and be preachy about it or tell you ‘well, what did you expect to happen?’ because I have no right to and … and because you don't kick someone who’s already down, right?"

"You don't?" Nathan smirked and Simon gently whacked his knee before rolling his eyes.

"You don't." He huffed. "To me, you’re still Nathan, the same annoying twat as before. You made a mistake with this job but you don't need me to tell you that, right? I’m your friend. I’m here to support you and not to put you down. And to me, it really doesn't matter with how many men or women you slept for money or without money involved. It doesn't change who you are." 

"See? That's why I like you." Simon’s heart paused for a second at this admission. He probably gaped at Nathan like a fish because the other man gave a small laugh at his facial expression. "What? Don't look at me like that! It's true!"

"You like me?"

"Do you really think I would’ve told you all of this shit if I wouldn't?" Nathan sighed at that. "I don't … I can't talk to the others like that. Not even Kelly. I can't … I can't drop the act around them but I feel like you … you get it, right? You understand. It's easy around you. I thought so last Friday too. And I … If I were less of a fucking prick … I want to apologize for that whole tattoo debacle."

"But that wasn’t even your fault." 

"No, I know." He huffed. "But it's my fault how I treated you after. I treated you like a bitch because I was suddenly so unsure about myself, about the things I felt during those days when I was ‘in love’ with you and shit. It felt right, you know? And that fucking scared the crap out of me." 

For the first time, Simon felt like he couldn't follow the train of thought that Nathan had right now. Not that this would be unusual in any way. Nathan had a weird way of thinking, after all. This was different, though. He felt that there was something he was missing in what Nathan said. A part of the equation was missing to Simon. He hated feeling this way.

"You … what?"

"Yeah … maybe I am more of a mess than I thought." Nathan shrugged. "That's why I didn't want you to go out with that chick too … I mean apart from that I thought that she had killed me and shit. I might’ve been a teenie-tiny bit jealous. Of course, I will deny it to my dying day if you’d tell anyone but-"

"Are you saying that you like me? I mean … like like me?" He felt stupid for even thinking something like that.

"And now I ruined everything." Nathan groaned. "Like I always ruin fucking everything. I should’ve just kept my mouth shut! Listen … Yeah … maybe I do … like you like that but that doesn’t mean we have to end our friendship or something, alright? I’m sure this will pass eventually and we can just pretend I never said any of this crap, okay?"

He didn't know what possessed him to lean closer to Nathan or to grab him by the neck only to pull him into a kiss that would hopefully shut the other delinquent up for a moment. Nathan didn't flinch back, he didn't squirm away like he would’ve expected it. He leaned into the touch instead, tried chasing his mouth as Simon started to withdraw even though everything inside of him screamed at him to keep going.

"Fuck, Barry…" Nathan breathed so close to his lips that he could feel the air ghosting over them while his stomach was doing somersaults. The realization that he had just kissed Nathan like this - properly kissed him - had yet to sink in. "I needed that."

"I’m sorry, I shouldn't have-" Before he could even finish his sentence, Nathan’s lips were on his again. The other man almost knocked Simon’s beer bottle out of his hand as he scrambled into a position that allowed Nathan to almost sit in Simon’s lap. It cost him every bit of his will power to gently break the kiss and ignore the way his cock stirred at the friction that Nathan had created with his flailing and scrambling.

"What?" Nathan groaned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" Simon muttered against Nathan’s lips as the other stole yet another kiss from him. His presence was intoxicating. He felt addicted to Nathan’s kisses and the way his body felt against his own. "We shouldn’t rush anything."

"No it's okay … I’m all healed and good to go, if you wanna-"

"You know what I mean," Simon said and this time, he looked at Nathan sternly as he escaped his mouth with ease. "We have all the time in the world now." 

"You know what?" Nathan deflated with a sigh. "You are a real party pooper, Simon Bellamy." 

"I know." Simon laughed. He felt warm and tingly when Nathan joined in on his laughter and for a moment, Simon thought, that everything would turn out okay. Nathan would get through this. Despite what the other one said or how much he would pretend that everything was okay with him, they both knew that he was far from being okay. Good thing Simon was a patient man. He would be there through it all. Maybe for the first time in Nathan’s young life, Simon thought, the other man would have someone who would actually listen.

This night, he fell asleep with Nathan curled up and tucked into his side, his curly head resting on Simon’s shoulder and his breathing deep and even. He fell asleep knowing that Nathan was alive and that he would recover from all of this in time. He fell asleep knowing that there were three monsters less out there in the world. He fell asleep knowing that he would kill again if it meant keeping others safe from harm. He fell asleep knowing that he and Nathan might have a real chance together. Despite their fundamental differences. In the end, he thought, they were two sides of the exact same coin.

**-End of Chapter 5-**


End file.
